There are so many “moments” that happen during cancer treatment. Good stuff, bad stuff. It would be impossible to document everything, and I clearly don’t update as often as I’d like to. But I’ve had some random thoughts rattling around in my brain, so I thought I’d share them.
The first is that doctors and nurses have a HUGE influence on how you get through treatment. They can make you feel like a good parent or a bad parent, so to me it is critical to find a doctor that you respect, but who also respects you. And by “you”, I mean the royal “you” – the patient, the family, even the friends if it comes to that. An environment where the patient can include everyone they wish to include is so critical. This may sound like a no-brainer, but trust me, the environment can vary greatly from place to place.
The second thing is that I’ve learned I’m not a quitter. It is my nature to fight for my kids. There’s a scene in the Godfather (that I’ve never seen) that is quoted by Tom Hanks in “You’ve Got Mail” (which my family will tell you I’ve seen a hundred times). The quote is “Fight, fight to the death.”
They were talking about business, but it could obviously relate quite literally to cancer. I’m not sure that I want David to “fight to the death” because that doesn’t sound like a peaceful way to end time here on earth. I am proud of how he’s fought, though, and that he continues to fight, despite people telling him there is no cure for this disease.
What would any of us do if faced with something that the best medical doctors can’t fix? I don’t think you can truly know the answer to that until you are in the situation. Even now, I can’t say for sure what I would do if it were me personally. So I have to respect whatever David tells me he wants to do. It’s his life. Not mine.
For the most part, I think he has made the best decisions an 18 year old can make. He sometimes has trouble getting people to listen to and respect those decisions, and in his typical way, he sees that as his problem, not theirs.
I was going to go into a little more detail about him here, but he nixed it. (That’s what I get for letting him proofread.) He doesn’t like praise, and thinks I’ve already said too much in that regard. So for now, I’ll just say that he is kinder than he gives himself credit for.