Today was a pretty cool day. It involved taking Richard to the airport to fly home, which was the only “bad” part. Everything is better when he is around, but somehow, today managed to be a pretty awesome day anyway.
For the first time in quite a while, I spent the day alone with Austin. We just hung out. Went shopping. Caught a movie. Talked. Pretty awesome. We’ve missed out on days like that for the last couple of years. Cancer has a way of taking over everything, and even on the rare moments we escaped, it was looming over us. Then David died, and any attempt at being “normal” just went out the window. Not that things are normal now, but today I could see where normal would be. We are skating on the edge of our new normal. Tinged with sadness, but still with hope for the future. Room for dreams. A place where your heart just might be able to expand again. Breaths still catch at odd moments. A thought of David could just as easily bring a smile or a tear, but we are adjusting. We’re gonna make it through this.
And watching Austin blossom is one of the benefits of trudging ahead. She can be pretty delightful, and today I was treated to her sense of humor and true self. She is beautiful beyond words – inside and out. I think I am pretty tuned in to the miracle of life these days. What a precious gift! And because it seems so sparkly and special, I just wanted to remind all of you that it is. Sometimes life covers everything with a layer of dust and it’s hard to see that light shine. But it is there – even on the darkest days. You just have to remember to look for it… and sometimes you might have to wipe off a layer of dust!