What I wish I knew before my friends’ son got brain cancer… This may seem a strange twist on the theme of these blog posts but I wish I knew my friends before their son got brain cancer. When I met them, their son had been in remission for a couple of years, but the pain over what they experienced was still raw. As I got to know the couple, she spoke of the experience of facing cancer with a child and the disappointment in the friends who disappeared during this difficult time. So in addition to the fears and grief that come with a child facing cancer, she spoke of the loneliness and the struggles as a family. She talked of how people they believed would stick by their sides did not, and that some people they didn’t expect to help, did.
Her words really resonated with me, as did her talk of the pain of watching a child go through cancer treatment. Hearing their struggles made me wish that I had known them and had been able to be there for them during their journey because I knew I would have been one of the ones who stayed around to help. I thought of ways I would’ve helped to lighten the load on them, how I would have been there to listen, to help with meals, their house and anything else they couldn’t quite find the time to do. Years later, I met a family with a child with a new cancer diagnosis, and my friend’s words about the loneliness of pediatric cancer rang in my ears.
I decided to make an effort to help them through fundraising and emotional support. Looking back , in some ways I realize I did it to make up for not knowing my friends before their child got cancer. As this family’s child reached the end of treatment, I realized there just might be a real need for support of other families facing pediatric cancer. I surveyed families and found there certainly was a need. I brainstormed how best to provide this support, and it evolved into what is now a nonprofit based in Fredericksburg, VA that focuses on the needs of the parents rather than the child. We provide meals, house cleaning, lawn care, hair cuts, gas cards, a financial relief fund and emotional support to the parents in order to relieve some of their stress and to provide them with more time to focus on their family. I wasn’t able to support those friends during such a difficult time because I didn’t know them, but now my organization provides support to families in parts of VA and MD with similar struggles. We fill the void of the friends who, for whatever reason, are unable to help and for the friends they have yet to meet who will wish they had been there in such a difficult time.
Editor’s note: You can learn more about Andrea’s nonprofit, the Fairy Godmother Project, by checking out her website: http://www.fairygodmotherproject.org/