It’s Been Fun

Uncategorized

Ran back across this today. I’ve never shared it here on my blog, so I thought I would. It’s my husband’s blog post when he decided to close the retail stores and focus more of his (and our) time on helping cancer researchers. We’ve come so far since then!

Haddock Education Technologies

Amanda and Richard Haddock
IMG_1955

When I graduated high school in 1976 and headed to college, my plan was to get degrees in architecture and business, and have my own architectural design firm soon after that. Roger Birckhead was my drafting teacher at Heights High School, and I really enjoyed designing houses, and working on projects. But once I got to Kansas State, I took a computer class as part of my business degree requirements. Back then, we used punch cards, and learned logic and programming. In order to get my jobs done, I’d head over to the computer lab after midnight when fewer people were around. Of all the classes I had, the computer class came easiest. In fact, I finished my semester class in less than half the semester, and was able to take the next class in the same semester. I’d found my niche, and knew that computer…

View original post 1,878 more words

Where Does the Money Go?

Dragon Master Foundation, Uncategorized

IMG_7501

Starting a foundation is expensive. We spent thousands of our own dollars to get the foundation up and running, and even now, our board members regularly pay for things out of their own pockets so that the expense doesn’t fall to the foundation. To date, we have donated over $100,000 toward building this shared database. Our board and our supporters have generously helped us get to where we are today, and we have an exciting opportunity just before us that I thought you might want to help with.

You see, we make connections with people around the world. Telling them about our data sharing project with CBTTC and asking them to help. Our foundation has brought many new voices to the conversation, and that conversation is about to happen in person with at least 15 hospitals and foundations. It’s an expense for the foundation, and we would love your help in sending some of our board members to participate in this momentous event. We need to fly to New Orleans and spend a couple of nights in a hotel. The conference is paying for some of the meals, and typically our board members pay for their own meals while traveling, so that isn’t part of the expense. We are also only covering part of the cost of their flight because we want them to all have a personal commitment to the event. We will have a full day of meetings followed by an evening of discussion. We are taking a videographer with us who can help us share the story of what happens with all of you. 

If you believe that our collaborations are making a difference, please help us get our board to this conference. Every donation to this campaign will be used to further the conversation about the importance of sharing data between hospitals. We’d like to take some branded items with us to help folks remember who we are and be able to reach back out to us as they have more questions after the event. Here’s a breakdown of what I think the expenses will be:

Promotional items $500

Expenses per attendee:

Flights $500

Hotel $480

We have eight people who will take time off work to attend this event with us, so that would be $7,840, plus the $500, for a total of $8,340. That’s not including ticket fees, etc, so I’m setting the goal at $9,000. 

We’ve talked a lot about open access. You hear more and more about the patient experience on the news. All of those words are good, but for the most part, the world is still segregated into the medical community and the rest of the world. This conference is changing that. We will have a room full of passionate advocates sitting side-by-side with the doctors and researchers who need our help. We are building a global team to fight this war on cancer. 

Want to help? We value every contribution! You can see our individual fundraisers and make a donation here.

(Please note that they are just now setting up their pages, so there may be a few more pages appearing over the next few days.)

Brain Cancer Action Month 2016

Dragon Master Foundation, Uncategorized

13419_1386361731692400_1879090937433300442_n

I had big plans to be super organized heading into May this year, but for various reasons, it just didn’t happen. So here we are, on May 4th (Star Wars Day!), and I’m just now making a post about all the ways you can get involved this month. There was a big event on May 1st in DC, Race for Hope, so I’m sorry for not getting word out to all of you in time to participate in that. It was only the first of many events this month, though, so without further delay, here are some ways you can get involved:

Wear gray. It’s the most simple way to show your support. Grey is a pretty bland color, though, so to really get people’s attention, you might need to draw some attention to yourself. Maybe some crazy hair, or a Hawaiian shirt on top of your grey… something te get people wondering what’s going on with you.😉 You can even take a gray selfie and enter to win a prize!

Change your profile picture. Make your profile image go gray this month. Need some inspiration? Check out our Pinterest board.

Support on online fundraiser. Maybe you’re busy. We get that. So skip coffee or drinks for one day and donate that money to an online fundraiser. You can find some worthy places to donate at these links:

Sponsor a runner in California here , here , here or here

Sponsor Runners in Iowa

Sponsor a runner in Kansas here or here

Sponsor a runner in Pennsylvania here

Sponsor a runner in Virginia

Go to an event! This one is a little bit trickier because the events are in specific geographic locations, but if you can make it to one, please do! The folks that organize these events put a lot of hard work into them, and it physical events can be a real boost for survivors. I’m listing the ones I could find by date and then location.

May 14th

4th Annual Race for Hope DSM – Des Moines, IA

San Diego Brain Tumor Walk – The Waterfront Park, San Diego, CA –

May 15th

Comedy Night – Hollywood, CA

12th Annual Team Billy Ride & Walk for Research – Saratoga Springs, NY

Boston Brain Tumor Ride – Waltham, MA

May 21st

CureFest 2016 – Humble, TX

Bay Area Brain Tumor Walk  – Crissy Field, San Francisco, CA

Charleston Brain Tumor Walk – Mount Pleasant, SC

I am sure I’ve missed a lot of events for the month due to lack of research time. Do you have an event or activity to share? Please add it in the comments!

THEN COMES SPRING

52 People To Meet Posts, Lessons Learned, Uncategorized

This post is written by my friend, Lori Hatfield Dickinson. Her words moved me, and I know several other people who could use them right now, so I asked her if I could share them with all of you.

12909463_10156736904935503_176181431140341521_oAs redbuds bloom and tulips turn their heads toward the sun, it’s bittersweet to think of the difference a year makes. It’s spring – literally and figuratively. After months of being quiet and reflecting, I feel a deep burden to write more honestly about my journey with God, grief and guilt.

Last year, fear was my constant companion. I saw spring as an ending. It was the end of a life I cherished with a man and family I dearly loved. There was no joy for us as the world bloomed because Michael was quickly fading.

Despite everything I said I believed at that time, I doubted God. I was mad. I was devastated. I made futile attempts to cut deals with Him, such as, “God, if you will just heal him, I will…” But mostly, I just felt abandoned.

Everything seemed like such a waste. A waste of a man with so much to give to the world – now unable to talk, to see, confused by simple instructions and confined to a chair. A waste of all the time investing in a marriage, a life, future plans that were not to be, all of which was compounded by the helplessness of watching my children lose their innocence without the ability to intercede. In March 2015, I wrote: “It’s as if we are standing on railroad tracks with a locomotive barreling toward us. I can’t stop it or move, so I’m constantly bracing for impact.”

It’s difficult to think anything good could come out having your heart being blown through your chest when you hold the lifeless body of the one you vowed to love and cherish the rest of your life. The primal cry from the depths of my heart when death came is something I will never forget.

In the ensuing days following the funeral I watched sunsets daily from Michael’s grave, sat in the darkness at night staring at his photo, read and re-read letters he wrote to me, smelled his clothes in the closet, and even at times, prayed the world would end. I was never alone, yet, I never felt more alone. Did I really believe there was a God and a Heaven? And if there was, where was He?

I began two “offline” journals. One, written directly to Michael. The first entry was the day he died.

June 15, 2015

You went to Heaven this morning.
I’m broken, lost, empty, alone.
I kissed you over and over.
I miss you.
For the first time since we met, you’re unreachable.
Our son is devastated. Grace is crushed.
I look toward where you’ve always been and the chair is empty.
I’m living my worst nightmare – I’m in a world you’re not in.

A little more than a week later I began a faith journal of sorts. It was a desperate attempt to work out whether God abandoned me or if I was the one who abandoned Him. I wrote to God…

June 26, 2015

When will you comfort me?
I am profoundly sad.
The truth is what I need most.
Give me understanding.
Strengthen me.
Be gracious to me.
Direct me.
Turn my heart.
Turn my eyes.

On June 30, 2015, I wrote and prayed this Psalms (31:10, 14-15):

I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Misery has drained my strength; I am wasting from within. But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying You are my God! My future is in your hands!

I wanted to wholeheartedly believe. I just couldn’t.

Contrast that with my entry to Michael on the same date…

June is gone and so are you… I think I smiled more than I cried today when I talked about you.
I count the hours throughout the day – they go so slow. I like the days best where I sleep. I’m seeking God’s will. It’s my only hope for peace in all this. I wish I could be with you.

One day at a time sounds trite, but it’s true. God began opening doors before I even knew they were there. Through the journaling, sleepless nights, questions and tears – He slowly softened my heart. So many years I “served” God out of fear, obligation and pride. But, I didn’t truly know Him, love him, believe Him like I thought I did. It’s not always a priority to build a relationship with God when the world seems right. Now, I was desperate. And as a parent holds a heartbroken child – I started to feel God everywhere.

As I read my posts and journal entries I can see the progression I couldn’t see in the midst of the storm. I wrote only the following words on Sept. 1, 2015, from 19th century pastor Charles Spurgeon in my faith journal that resonates today…

“Don’t you know day dawns after night, showers displace drought and spring and summer follow winter? Then, have HOPE! Hope forever, for God will not fail you.”

God did not fail me, despite my disbelief.

He comforted me through Bible readings, books, church, people and prayer. He still does. He changed my heart and my priorities. I no longer view the world or problems the way I did before. A friend shared God was working faster in some areas in my life than others to make himself so obviously known I couldn’t deny Him. Maybe my heart was truly closed off that much.

In November, I wrote for the last time in Michael’s journal. The words captured what I’ve wrestled with and still do – the guilt associated with my disbelief, grief and survivor’s guilt:

Nov. 10, 2015

Passed our anniversary and approaching five months and the holidays. I don’t feel you around much anymore, but I’m hopeful you’re well.

I feel guilty for living and being able to love again. It doesn’t replace you, but I’m happy. That is a miracle… I’ve cleaned out the closet and I’m getting ready to remodel. I need the house to be different, the space to be new. I’m still sad when I think of you being so sick and the way you died. But, you have taught me how gracefully it can be done.

When I read back I remember all the feelings and emotions, but I also see how far I’ve come. While I may not feel you near, I do know God is, and my life is not finished.

I will never forget you. Your work here was finished, your legacy is big, and your memory will always live on in our lives through the love we now carry forward.

Goodnight Michael.

My pastor asked the question from a series titled, “When God Doesn’t Make Sense:” What if the scene of our greatest disappointment was the setting for our greatest moment? He used the illustration of Lazarus’s story – how with God, a waiting season is never a wasted season and God’s delays are not necessarily God’s denials.

Waiting is never wasted… It’s a paradigm shift for me. Waiting began on Sept. 27, 2013: Waiting on test results, waiting on radiation, waiting on chemotherapy, waiting on doctor appointments, waiting on planes, waiting on MRIs, and then, waiting on death. The time that passes after a terminal diagnosis is at a much different pace. Time passes quickly up to the point of death, then, it crawls – a day is a week, a week is a month and a month is a year.

However, waiting is not wasted when spring comes forth from winter. The trees roots are a little deeper and the world comes alive anew and refreshed.

It is difficult to bless and release the guilt of disbelief I carried in my heart for God through much of Michael’s illness; the guilt of being happy more than sad, seeing another spring… And yes, a measure of guilt for being in love with someone who knows my pain and walks the same path I do. That, in and of itself, could only be a gift from God.

But even as I wrestle with guilt and grief, I feel hope in the depths of my heart and soul.

Hope that God truly answered my prayer of healing for Michael in his perfect way and will.

Hope, that despite my actions, He didn’t or will never abandoned me.

And in surviving an experience I’d pictured to be unsurvivable – Hope that He isn’t finished with me yet.

 If you would like to read more of Lori’s writings, you can check out her blog here: www.thesuburbwoman.com

12132421_767109943418615_1764873402361609422_o

We’re Gonna Make Dreams Come True!

Uncategorized

We are so excited about our first official RunDisney event! Team Fired Up has some great team members who are running the 5k, 10k or half marathon with us in September, and we want you to be there, too! Sign up and fundraise for cancer research while you train! Disney runs are like no other! Full of magic and surprises! We have a limited number of spots, so sign up fast!!

So many of our cancer warriors make special memories at Disney Parks. Come make some memories of your own while you help…

Posted by Dragon Master Foundation on Wednesday, March 16, 2016

#MomentsofMagic

Dragon Master Foundation, Uncategorized

Cancer can be one of life’s most difficult challenges. It has brought more pain to my life than I care to remember, but it has also given me great awareness of the little moments in life. I think it teaches a lot of people about gratitude, frequently in ways we wouldn’t imagine. I know trying to imagine what it is like to live with a cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming, especially if you think about it being your child or other loved one. It’s sad and scary, and well, I don’t want to think about it either. But I do want to bring attention to the need for research. I want you to think about ways we can cure cancer. I want you to think about it all the time – like those of us who have been faced with it in our daily lives.

But how can we think about it, and act on it, without being overwhelmed by it? After talking with a lot of folks, I think I found a way to shed some positive light on the issue. We’re going to start a sort of gratitude journal, where we can focus on those little moments that are good, that are special because they are so normal. We want you to see how grateful cancer patients and their families are for those little things.

So here’s what I need from you. I need you to start sharing those moments with me, so that Dragon Master Foundation can share them with the world. We’re going to call them #MomentsofMagic . They can be anything you want – as long as it was a moment that was special to you as a cancer warrior, caregiver, loved one or friend. We’d love to share pictures with the stories as well, so send whatever you would like to share to amanda.haddock (at)dragonmasterfoundation.org.

Together, we can focus on the positive. As Dumbledore would say, “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

IMG_3115

Turn $1 into $5,000!

Dragon Master Foundation

Missing Piece HeartWe stumbled across another online competition. This one is for $5,000, but it ends on Sunday! Since Sunday is Valentine’s Day, this seems like the perfect chance to share your love with someone in a very meaningful way.

The app is free, but it is only for iPhone users running OS 8.1. That limits the pool of potential helpers a little bit, so we are depending on all of you to help us spread the word. The app is pretty straight forward, but I’ve had several people ask questions, so here’s a quick walk-through:
SmallTokenhomescreen
1. They download the Small Token app.
2. Launch the app & click “Give A Gift”

 

 

 

 

 
3. Enter the email address of the person they want to honorSmallTokenDonatescreen.
4. Choose Dragon Master Foundation as the nonprofit (Type in “Dragon Master” and you get it)
5. Enter an amount. $1 is fine!!
6. Schedule the delivery – anytime between now and any future date.
7. Enter a personal message. It can be a thank you, a Valentine wish – anything!
8. Hit “preview”
9. You will see an orange screen with a heart. At the bottom, you can hit “edit look” to change the color and the icon. Pick what you like, then hit done.
10. Hit “continue” & you will be directed to Give Lively where you can enter your payment information. After you enter your info, click the donate button.
11. You will get a Thank You message, and you are all done!!

I know that looks like a lot of steps, but really it is pretty simple.

Please go enter a donation today and actively encourage others to do the same. We just started last night, and we’ve gotten over $100 in donations already, so it is worth a few minutes of your time.

If you would like to help spread the word on social media,  here are some possible tweets:
Pls download @SmallTokenApp and send a greeting to help @DragonMasterFdn win $5,000. #charity with the highest # of donors wins.

Thank someone today by donating to @DragonMasterFdn in their name w/@SmallTokenApp. You could help us win $5,000! #endcancer

Help win $5k for #research 7& give a #cancer warrior a smile by donating to @dragonmasterfdn & sending a greeting through @smalltokenapp!

 

Thanks & have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Plan Ahead in Honor of World Cancer Day

Lessons Learned

Screen Shot 2016-02-04 at 5.35.40 PMIt’s World Cancer Day, a time when lots of people are thinking about prevention and cures. I think it is a very hopeful day, when we can rally together and bring awareness to a disease that plagues our society. I’m completely convinced that we could rid the planet of this disease within our lifetime, and I’m heartened to hear more and more people uttering similar beliefs.

At the moment, though, the disease is at large. We never know who might get it or when. My son was 16 at diagnosis but became an adult (18) while fighting brain cancer. He went from a child that we made decisions for to a young man who should have made his own decisions. But cancer was undermining his decision making process. He struggled to make sense out of things that would have been simple for him a few months earlier. He was smart, but cancer robbed him of his confidence. His own mind played tricks on him, and he wasn’t sure of himself. It was a scary time for all of us, and though he was a technically an adult, we still made decisions for him to the best of our abilities. It’s hard to know what another person truly thinks – even if it is your child or your spouse. You do your best, but it is hard to keep the doubts at bay. The best step to avoid this situation is to be proactive. Make a plan before you need it, and you can be more at ease during life’s most difficult times.

I think most of us have the best of intentions when it comes to getting organized. We even take steps toward doing it. Some sort of filing system for your tax papers. Maybe a safe deposit box for important papers. But there are a lot of legal documents that most of us avoid. Wills. Advance Directives. Stuff that means not only are you an adult, but an adult who might one day die. Scary stuff. But it doesn’t have to be.

I found this really cool article from Everplan that walks you through a lot of those important adult things. It’s relatively painless, and it is super important. I talk to families all the time who spend grueling hours trying to decide what their loved one would have wanted if they could have decided for themselves. Brain cancer frequently steals away the ability to make good decisions – and it happens long before most people are prepared for it. So take a few minutes now, and check out this list. Make it a priority to work on it steadily for a few weeks, and before you know it, you’ll have all those “adult” things behind you.

Here’s the link:

https://www.everplans.com/articles/an-encouraging-to-do-list-for-getting-organized-in-2016?utm_source=Everplans+Newsletter&utm_campaign=11a47ed0c9-Cash_Windfall_Non_Members_1_15_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_fdb52c78d8-11a47ed0c9-147163513

By the way, I am not endorsing Everplan’s service and this is not an ad for them. I have not tried their service, so you’ll have to make your own decisions about that.

 

Choose Hope

Uncategorized

hope sign

This human existence is a strange thing. Full of ups and downs, it seems like we should all get an equal shot at playing the game. But we don’t. For some of us, the journey ends just as it should be beginning. Bright and shining stars extinguished before their light touches everyone. But what about those of us given the gift of time? What do we do with it?

I want to take a moment today, as sweet Jackson is laid to rest, to talk about hope. For if ever there was a family that knows what it means to hope, it is the Jackson/Beezhold family. Articulate and caring, I met them first online through some Facebook support groups. They knew Jack’s odds, which were not good, but they lived with hope every day. In big and small ways, they filled Jack’s years with life –a lifetime of happiness. It was an unbearably short lifetime, but we could all wish to be loved that much.

It makes me reflect on my blessings – among them, this family that I’ve come to know. It takes true faith to find hope after you are dealt a blow like childhood cancer. To know that life is not perfect, but there are gifts – even in the times of imperfection. Today, I grieve with Jack’s family, but I also hope for everyone still fighting. I hope that they will have great joy in as many moments as they can. I hope that those of us not personally battling disease will see what a gift that is. I hope that we will all be empowered with the knowledge that we can make a major difference in this world – through our attitude and actions. I hope that we will all have the vision to see the blessings instead of the curses.

I hope that we will all take moments for ourselves, but that we will take more moments in service of others. We have been given time to play this game of life. And I think one of the secrets to “winning” is teamwork. I’m sad that we didn’t find a cure in time to help Jackson. But I’m not giving up. I choose hope. We have a great big team of warriors depending on us. The bigger our team, the better our odds of winning. I want to give everyone the chance to play the game for as long as possible. I want us all to die as old people who have been given every chance to grow old gracefully. Some will do amazing things. Some won’t. But wouldn’t it be cool if we were all given the same odds?

Is Empathy Better than Apathy?

Dragon Master Foundation

Apathy

Let me just start this post by saying I just got bad news. I’ve come to know a family very well through their son’s GBM battle, and I just found out they are sending him home on hospice. No more options. He’s just a little boy. His Caring Bridge page has a rocket ship. He likes Legos and Star Wars. And they don’t have any other treatments for him. He is struggling to breathe, as many warriors do, because the tumor is pressing on critical parts of his brain. I’ve sat beside my son’s bed and watched that all happen. I’m horrified that they will have to do the same.

With each new family I meet, I think to myself, “I hope this is the one we save.” And I believe each time that it might be that person. That dad, that daughter. When I express my frustration in the timeline to those around me, they are always quick to say, “but look how far you’ve come!” That may be true, but it isn’t far enough, fast enough. We’ve made amazing headway. But it isn’t saving Jack.

When I post on Facebook or Twitter about these kids, people are quick to offer prayer. They are even quicker to send a birthday card or gift to the sick child. That gives peace for a moment, but I want more. I want the same kind of action and passion toward curing these warriors so that we don’t feel the need to make their birthday special because it is probably their last. Which brings me around to my question. Is empathy better than apathy?  Are we really helping anyone by feeling sorry for them? When you read those stories and posts and think, “oh how sad”, does it incite you to action?

Today I read some of the comments on VP Biden’s Cancer Moonshot post. At that time, there had only been 125 people who had shared their cancer stories. My story is near the top with only 10 likes. Are you kidding me?!? The Vice President of our country is finally making cancer research an issue and only 125 people could be bothered to respond? I get that not everyone likes to write about that stuff, but everyone could go click like on a story that resonates with them. Is cancer research important to you or not?

I’ll be perfectly honest. Six years ago it wasn’t a priority for me. I thought most cancers were curable, and that the ones that weren’t were extremely rare. I was wrong. Cancer is still a devastating disease that takes many forms – quite a few of which are virtually untreatable. Oh, they will do some form of treatment for everyone, but in cases like brain cancer, they know it most likely won’t do much good. May God bless the folks who go through these treatments knowing it may not help them, but it might help someone else down the road. David did that. And that’s why I am so passionate about this. If I had gotten passionate about it 10 years ago, maybe we could have saved him. But I’ll be damned if I sit by and let other people die when I know that science is capable of better treatments, and yes, maybe even cures.

When I was reading those posts, several people asked what they could do. No one had responded to them, so I did. I told them to volunteer with groups who are looking to change the status quo. Post on social media in support of those groups, and financially support them whenever you can. If we want change, we have to make it happen. Today the bad news went to Jack’s family. It could be anyone else tomorrow. Seven more children will be diagnosed tomorrow. Three of them will lose their battles. Every day. To me, that means we have absolutely no time to lose. What does it mean to you?